Expert Advice On Choosing Your Bridal Party

If you plan to have bridesmaids at your wedding, you want to give some careful thought to whom you will ask. It is not always an easy role, and if you choose the wrong people, you can end up with a lot of drama and stress. When you know how to pick the perfect bridal party, your wedding will be far more enjoyable.

Tip One: Do Not Ask Your Bridesmaids Too Early. You will have plenty of time to invite your best friends to be in your wedding. A lot of brides get caught up in the early excitement of becoming engaged and start asking people to be bridesmaids without giving the matter a lot of thought. Half the time, the bride ends up regretting asking one or more of the bridesmaids, but ends up stuck with them (because there is no polite way to uninvite a bridesmaid). Your bridesmaids will not need to start shopping for their dresses and bridesmaid jewelry until about four or five months before the wedding, so if you ask them about six months in advance of the date, that will be plenty of notice. It's better to take your time and consider the whole makeup of the group before asking anyone.

Tip Two: Don't Worry About Even Numbers. Your bridesmaids are a lot more than ladies in pretty dresses and elegant bridesmaid jewelry; they should be your best friends. It does not matter if you have four bridesmaids and your fiance has five groomsmen. What matters is that each person you ask is very special to you. Do not ask a casual acquaintance to be in your wedding as “filler” to even out the two sides. It is easy to downplay a difference in numbers by having the maid of honor walk alone during the recessional.

Tip Three: Blood is Thicker Than Water. Let's put it this way: will your best friend understand if you say you have to invite your sister to be your maid of honor to avoid a family feud? Of course she will, if she is really a dear friend. However, will your sister ever forgive you for choosing a friend over her to be your honor attendant? Quite possibly not. When you are torn between your sister and best friend for your maid of honor, choose your sister. She will always be your sister, after all, and friendships may fade over time.

Tip Four: Consider Personalities. Your sorority sister who always wants to be the center of attention? She might not be able to resist stealing your limelight. The friend who has always shared your taste and gets along famously with your fiance, however, would be a fantastic bridesmaid. The friend who has a tendency to undermine your confidence with offhand remarks about your appearance will probably not be someone you want to have around on the morning of your wedding. But the pal whose very presence makes you feel calmer would be a real asset. It is also important to think about how well the women you are considering get along with one another, whenever possible.

Tip Five: Be Realistic About Expectations. If you are hoping that your bridesmaids will play an active role in your wedding planning, it would not be practical to ask your friend with a newborn, a medical student, and someone who lives overseas! You should ask the women who are most important in your lives to serve in your wedding, and adjust your expectations for their role based on their personalities and lifestyles. And do not expect that all of your bridesmaids will be equally involved with the pre-wedding fun. It is perfectly fine for each individual to do only what she can or wants to do. The real job of your bridesmaids is to be there to support you and celebrate with you on your wedding day.